Matthew 5:44
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother, my favorite show, called “The Final Page, Part 1” (Season 8, Episode 11). The gang is discussing people they absolutely can’t stand. More specifically, they’re discussing people they would hide in a pit down in their basement like in The Silence of the Lambs. I know it’s unrealistic, but the extreme humor makes for good TV. Is there someone who has been on your bad side for a number of years? Someone who has wronged you or hurt you deeply, preventing you from loving and trusting others? I know there’s someone you thought of as you read this. The cast of How I Met Your Mother would consider that individual your “pit person.”
My “pit person” is my ex-boyfriend. I could write an entire dissertation on what I learned from that relationship, but I’ll start here, with you. I could get into the nitty-gritty details, but I’ll save you the time by describing him in one word: narcissistic. After almost eight months and nearly 240 days of recovering from the emotional trauma he’s caused, I can still say that I struggle to keep him out of my metaphorical pit.
We are human. We make mistakes and we hurt others and when we’re the ones who have been wronged, we hold grudges. We have difficulty finding forgiveness. And sometimes, a situation is so bad, we even question God as to why it happened to us. But instead of questioning God and asking, “Why did my best friend betray me? I’m a great friend!” or “Why did my girlfriend break up with me? I’m such a thoughtful partner!” we can ask, “Now that this has happened…what am I going to do about it?”
So, you asked the question. Now, what do you do when someone hurts you? Gossip? Guard your heart? Try to hurt them in return? Are these things that Christ would do? When the devil tempted Jesus in the desert, did he try to hurt him in return? No. He simply said to leave Him be and worship the one true Lord. Instead of considering revenge, the best we can offer to someone after being betrayed, deceived, or abandoned by them, is simply to pray. Pray for their heart to be healed from their own pains. Pray for their thoughts to be pure and full of God’s grace. Pray for their friends and family, that they may understand the internal battles they face.
It’s hard. And you may think, “It’s easy for you to say,” but I struggle every day to pray for my ex-boyfriend and wish him well, especially considering the pain he caused me. I struggle to pray for friends who betrayed me. I struggle to pray for family members who have disappointed me. Every day is a struggle. But as long as we try, and long as we actively work to follow in the footsteps of Christ regardless of how they’ve treated us, we’re doing well.
Today, pray your hardest for someone who has hurt you. Step into the act of loving your enemies.